


A Very Gay Groupchat

by cooliomydude (orphan_account)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A LOT of sex jokes, Asexual Watari Shinji, Kindaichi is pure, Kunimi wants to die, M/M, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This is a very cursed gc, chatfic, meme team - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:27:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23495296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cooliomydude
Summary: The title explains it all.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kindaichi Yuutarou/Kunimi Akira, Komi Haruki/Konoha Akinori, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 24
Kudos: 209





	1. The Creation

**Author's Note:**

> There's gonna be more. There's always more gay.

**Konoha added Komi, Makki, Mattsun, Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Watari, Kentarou, Kunimi, Kindaichi, Yahaba, Sarukui, Akaashi, and Bokuto**

Konoha: Let the torturing commence! Komi, come to my house. I got popcorn and this sPiCY drama.

Komi: I think the sPiCY drama will be Akaashi roasting the overdramatic owl ;)

Bokuto: HEY! HE ROSTS M TWO SHW HI LVE MEH!!

Akaashi: Bokuto-san, please refrain from trying to text while trying to spike. Also, for your knowledge, I do love you but please learn how to text properly and only do it in breaks.

Makki: Mattsu, we found another mother/captain and two children

Mattsun: Wowzers, my dudes. I’m pleasantly surprised that we found another chaotic gay team.

Sarukui: Every team I have meant is so very gay. @Komi and @Konoha, y’all better stay at your fucking houses. As Konoha’s neighbor, I don’t want to stay up all night due to your loud ass moaning, Komi.

Komi: I AM NOT A LOUD MOANER

Sarukui: “Daddy, you are so big”, “give me that cock, Akinori” or “Faster, Konoha”?

Mattsun: That is some fresh tea

Komi: I really hate you sometimes Saru. 

Sarukui: Why the fuck you lyin’?

Konoha: I mean...he be hot though

Komi: I’ll beat your asses

Makki: That is extremely kinky

Oikawa: My precious eyes will never be cleansed of this sin

Mattsun: Do you want me to say what I heard your dear Iwa-chan and you do in the locker room?

Iwaizumi: Shut your goddamn mouth. Shittykawa, you are a sin.

Mattsun: In bed

Komi: In bed

Sarukui: In bed

Makki: In bed

Konoha: In bed

Bokuto: In bed

Kentarou: In bed

Yahaba: In bed

Kunimi: In bed

Kindaichi: Why does everyone keep saying ‘in bed’?

Akaashi: Bokuto-san, I will leave practice if you continue behaving in this manner.

Kunimi: No one tells Kindaichi what it means. Not even being in a different region will save you from me.

Bokuto: Ok, AKaGSheE.

Akaashi: However you mess my name up over text is still beyond me.

Iwaizumi: You’re a mother of the team, too?

Akaashi: Unfortunately. Bokuto-san, Konoha-san, Sarukui-san, and Komi-san are the worst ones. Sarukui-san harasses Bokuto-san but he is very helpful at other times. Komi-san and Konoha-san together give me a headache but separated, they are actually decent. Don’t get me started on Bokuto-san…

Iwaizumi: Sheesh. Makki and Mattsu are always trouble. Most of the time they are talking in memes. Kindaichi is very well behaved. Kunimi really needs a therapist. Kentarou listens to only Yahaba and me. Yahaba is also a behaved child. Watari is actually okay and he is an amazing wingman. The worst one has to be Oikawa. He is a complete dumbass. 

Akaashi: That whole team sounds so stressful. How can you deal with it?

Watari: I got y’all’s back

Iwaizumi: Okay, Watari goes down a ton of points

Konoha: I am going to cry! 

Komi: mood

Sarukui: ^

Makki: ^^

Kunimi: ^^^

Mattsun:^^^^

Akaashi: ^^^^^

Bokuto: ^^^^^^

Iwaizumi: ^^^^^^^

Oikawa: I can’t cry, my mascara will run.

Iwaizumi: I’m coming over to kick your ass

Makki: Is that all? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Oikawa: You are a N A S T Y P E R V E R T 

Mattsun: You dareth insult my brofriend?

Oikawa: Yes

Iwaizumi: Yes

Mattsun: Unfriended, blocked, my mom's calling your mom and you're not invited to my teen queen sweet sixteen summer beach bash birthday party

Makki: Aww thanks babe

Konoha: ew. that’s gross.

Komi: It really do be like that!

Konoha: I like u though and you pretty nasty ;)

Komi: ;))

Makki: Iwaizumi. He said ew. I disown him but I want to keep him. What should I do?

Iwaizumi: I wish I could disown you. 

Makki: You’re no fun

Iwaizumi: I’m not an idiot 

Kentarou: The only idot is Yahaba

Yahaba: Learn how to spell. You make me facepalm, babe.

Kentarou: FUCK YOU, YAHABA!

Oikawa: BABE

Makki: babe 

Mattsun: baBe

Iwaizumi: You guys don’t remember when Yahaba pinned him against a wall and whispered in his ear during practice?

Sarukui: Way to get exposeD!!

Yahaba: I’m done with you guys

Mattsun: QUEEN MEME. YoU wiLL aLwAYs pASS my VibE chECks. 

Makki: I won’t forgive you for eating the rest of the cake, you F A T A S S.

**Sarukui changed Mattsun to Fatass** **™**

**Komi changed Sarukui to Unironic**

Unironic: Le gasp. I can’t believe you’ve done this to this beautiful, thriving friendship.

Fatass™: Welp, join the group. Ditched Anonymous.

**Akaashi changed Bokuto to OwlFucker**

OwlFucker: This means war, Akaaaaaashi.

**OwlFucker changed Akaashi to Owl**

Owl:...

Iwaizumi: …

Oikawa: …

Fatass™: …

Watari: …

Makki: …

Konoha: …

Komi: …

Kentarou:...

Yahaba: ...

Kindaichi: What does that mean?

Kunimi: … and you don’t need to know Turnip.

Kindaichi: You’re so mean.

Iwaizumi: Kindaichi. Don’t say that. Don’t become another, Oikawa. Wait, no one could be that vial.

Oikawa: M E A N, IWA-CHAN! You know you love me.

Makki: So pretty much everyone in here is gay and all, besides two people, are in a relationship.

Unironic: Yeah, I don’t really want a relationship but I’m gay as fuck boiiiiissssss

Watari: I’m asexual but I am the coolest, savagest and the most litty libero.

**Watari changed Makki to memequeen**

**Watari changed Komi to smolgay**

**smolgay changed Konoha to masterofnone**

masterofnone: I hate you sometimes

smolgay: :))

**Watari changed Kentarou to Dog**

**Watari changed Yahaba to creampuff**

**Watari changed Oikawa to Aliengay**

**Watari changed Iwaizumi to angermom**

angermom: wow. I’ll beat you up, Watari.

Aliengay: I love my name! Wanna watch Alien documentaries with me Iwa-chan? :P

angermom: I should have run away from you when I could have.

**Watari changed Watari to Littylibero**

**Littylibero changed Kunimi to misery**

**Littylibero changed Kindaichi to innocence**

misery: I can’t complain about this name

innocence: Akiraaaaa :(

misery: Why are you such a softie even though you a damnnnnn top?

innocence: You want me to be like that? ;)

smolgay: ew. DisGUstING.

misery: So what note did this chat disgustingly start on?

masterofnone: A very sexy one, am I right?

angermom: Equally as disgusting and shut the fuck up about your sex lives

masterofnone: Is Oikawa not pleasuring you enough???

Aliengay: Offended. I please Iwa-chan as much as I can.

angermom: He is a horny tornado.

OwlFucker: Horny tornado is the best description of Oikawa I need.

Owl: Bokuto-san. Please watch where you're walking. You almost pushed me into a ditch.

Unironic: Mom and dad about to have sExY TImE

Owl: Kindly shut up, Sarukui-san.

OwlFucker: HOW DID YOU KNOW, SARUKUI?????

Fatass™: Seijoh mom, Oikawa’s top. I’m scared of the owls now. I want to go home

memequeen: COUntrY roaD

angermom: I am done with you childern. Go fuck yourselves.

Fatass™: I perfer fucking Makki.

memequeen: If you do that thing again, I’ll forgive you for the cake.

Fatass™: See y’all later, bye!!!

memequeen: Ok, big daddy Mattsun! ;P

masterofnone: Ayee

smolgay: :( we can’t fuck because we need our third wheel to not shot himself 

Unironic: AH. I am not your third wheel.

masterofnone:

Unironic: You guys suck

Owl: They do and I do

smolgay: Wait, Akaashi Keiji just said a dirty comment AND a non complete sentence.

Owl: I can be trendy, Komi-san.

Unironic: That isn’t...ok. 

OwlFucker: That’s hot, ‘Kaashi. I wouldn’t mind you doing that for me and only me ;)

Owl: I will arrive at your house in 10 minutes, Bokuto-san.

Aliengay: I just saw a picture of you, Aka-chan. You might be prettier than me and it’s disgracefulllll!!!!!!

angermom: Let’s see how pissy you get at our practice match.

  
  



	2. it always gets worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry

**2:27 pm**

Aliengay: You guys suck :( You left me to practice with Bokuto-chan! He’s still drooling over Aka-chan WHILE practicing!! Iwa-chan, you should practice with us!

angermom: Fine, Trashykawa. But I’m bringing Akaashi since he is actually pretty cool.

Aliengay: Can he control his boyfriend?

**OwlFucker added Kurbroo**

Kubroo: Oya?

OwlFucker: Oya Oya.

Owl: Bokuto-san, you better be off your phone by the time Iwaizumi-san and I are over there.

memequeen: Ooo Heyo dipshit!

OwlFucker: Ok, Agashe!

Kubroo: So you and Mattsu are going to have a meme themed wedding?

Fatass™: Who told you? But yeah!

**Kurbroo added kitten**

kitten: why am i even dating you?

Kurboo: Because you love mee! <3

Aliengay: Calm it with the gay!!!

Unironic: “Iwa-chan! I love you more than alien documentaries!”

Aliengay: HOW THE FRUCK DID YOU HEaR THAt?!

masterofnone: He has the best hearing and it is horrible. Especially when Komi and I have our super sexy time ;)

smolgay: Sometimes we do it just to annoy him

Unironic: More like annoy me and make me want to kashoot myself

Unironic: I hate you guys

smolgay: But ya don’t

creampuff: I really don’t understand how Fukurodani is so good in volleyball but has no brain cells besides that. It’s a miracle.

Unironic: I’m just Saru in the bathroom hiding from the gays 

Fatass™: We miss our 5th wheel

masterofnone: Saruuuuuuuuuu

Littylibero: Wowie

Unironic: No

smolgay: I wiLL havE sxE wiTH KoNOHA jUSt to ANnoY yoU :))

Unironic: Okay, I am leaving the bathroom

Kurbroo: I am so confused

Dog: I wish I could leave this chat.

creampuff: Babe! But you have me :1

Dog: Iwaizumi-san is the only reason I don’t leave.

creampuff: You are a real asshole, Kentarou. 

Dog: I do care about you more than most people though.

creampuff: Awwwww!

angermom: Okay, everyone go fucking practice 

  
  


**4:20 pm**

**angermom added Ushijima, Tendou, Semi, Shirabu, Goshiki, Kageyama, and Hinata**

angermom: No leaving, dumbass.

Aliengay: Iwa-chan! I hate two of them with a passion though. :’(

angermom: That’s for drooling on my coat :)

Ushijima: Hello Oikawa Tooru. Have you decided to give up your worthless pride?

Aliengay: Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP. S H U T U P.

Tendou: Heyy! Don’t talk to the sexy beast who has really fucking sexy ding dong but won’t send me noodes.

Semi: What the fuck is wrong with you?

Ushijima: I do not understand, Tendou. I bought you noodles and it is spelled noodles with an l, not noodes. What is a ding dong?

**Tendou changed Ushijima to farmer**

**Tendou changed Shirabu to bitchasssetter**

**Tendou changed Semi to SemiSemi**

**Tendou changed Goshiki to futureace**

**Kageyama changed Hinata to tangerine**

**Tendou changed Kageyama to Oikawajr**

**Tendou changed Tendou to SaToRi**

SemiSemi: I’ve never seen anything more accurate than Kenjirou’s username

bitchasssetter: At least I’m a part of the starting line up, Semi-san.

SemiSemi: I will beat you.

Fatass™: Kanky

memequeen: I have to agree with the best brofriend

**memequeen changed Fatass™ to memeking**

memeking: Thank you, my sexy ass queen

tangerine: Kageyamaaaaaaaa, we should go to practice

OwlFucker: CHILD! YOU! ARE! HERE?

Owl: Hello, Hinata-Kun. How are you?

tangerine: I’m good! I think you are Akaashi?

OwlFucker: Yep! That’s the prettiest setter alive!

Aliengay: :(

Oikawajr: Hinata, let’s meet at the gym in 30 minutes

Unironic: Raise your hand if you think they are probably gonna screw 

Littylibero: consider my hand raised

Aliengay: ^

creampuff: ^^

Dog: ^^^

smolgay: ^^^^

Unironic: Sorry to break the chain BUT KONOHA AKINORI AND KOMI HARUKI, YOU GUYS BETTER STOP FUCKING ELSE I WILL PUT ON LET IT GO AND THEN SHOOT MYSLEF. BUT THE CATCH WILL BE, YOU CAN’T GET INTO MY ROOM TO TURN IT FUCKING OFF, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES. I WILL MAKE SURE YOU GUYS NEVER FUCK AGAIN EITHER. Have a good day.

farmer: I believe I am slightly concerned about ‘Unironic’. You should call or receive counseling if you are planning on shooting yourself.

SaToRi: I can’t fucking breathe

smolgay: I can’t fuck anymore so who is having a worse day? 

masterofnone: YOU CAME ALREADY, YOU LITTLE SHIT. YOU KNOW WHO HASN”T EVEN… I am going to pretend like this didn’t happen

Kurbroo: F

memequeen: F

memeking: F

Littylibero: F

Dog: F

innocence: F

OwlFucker: F

Aliengay: F

misery: F

SemiSemi: F

bitchasssetter: F

Owl: F

creampuff: F

SaToRi: F

futureace: I don’t understand

SaToRi: You are too young to understand

futureace: But some other first years do?

masterofnone: everyone is such an asshole

angermom: This chat is disgusting. How did we get here? 

Owl: Unfortunately, Konoha is a very unique person and likes to torture people

smolgay: You didn’t tell me that, bby ;))

masterofnone: Fuck you

misery: Wow, watch your profanity 

masterofnone: Kunimi, you are a jackass

misery: I only speak facts

farmer: I am quite worried about the mental health of this group chat.

angermom: The worst one here is Akaashi and Kunimi.

Owl: Death seems quite peaceful compared to everyday life :)

misery: I have to agree quite strongly there

smolgay: Are you guys ok?

misery: no

Owl: I am not okay, Komi-san.

innocence: Akiraaa, you have meee!

misery: Life is quite worth living

OwlFucker: Akaashi, I love you <3

Owl: Wait, what? What do you want? I love you too, Bokuto-san.

OwlFucker: Nothing :)

Owl: Okay, I'll stay for extra practice tomorrow

memequeen: "extra practice" sounds suspicious

masterofnone: ^

memeking: ^

farmer: What else could it mean?

SemiSemi: What Tendou and you do.

farmer: Ah, so you guys are going to be enjoying each other's company while watching movies that correlate to something referred to as a 'meme'.

Aliengay: YES!!! Iwa-chan, I am more up to date and trendy than Ushijima!

angermom: It's not always a good thing, Crappykawa.

Aliengay: You love me :P

angermom: I don't how or why

Aliengay: Let's have a sleepover, Iwa-chan! I'll suck your schlong.

angermom: I'll be right over

Kubroo: What?

kitten: please, kuroo. Don't question it. you'll lose brain cells, you can't afford to lose.

bitchasssetter: roasted, rooster head.

Kubroo: WHat did yOu caLL mE?

SemiSemi: Shirabu is a bitch

bitchasssetter: Semi is a punk who is salty he isn't in the starting line up because of me. 

Owl: Oh, hello Semi-san. I'm sorry I didn't say hello before. How have you been? 

SemiSemi: Hey Akaashi-Kun. It's ok, I've been busy working on mathematics homework. I've been doing really well besides Tendou and Shirabu. How have you been? Your team is still as crazy and gay as always.

Owl: I have been doing good. Thank you for asking. They really are. It has gotten worse since Konoha-san and Komi-san got together.

SemiSemi: I definitely saw them being a couple.

memequeen: How are you... nvm

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is pain


	3. Cursed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cringe

  
  


**2:19 am**

smolgay: sin

masterofnone: Very nice

masterofnone: asshole

tangerine: Ooo it’s Fukurodani’s libero and wing spiker! 

memequeen: So, how tis’ your ass?

tangerine: Volleyball doesn’t hurt my ass.

Oikawajr: I don’t want to have to see this name more than I have too. Oikawa is just an asshole.

Aliengay: WHOEVER SET HIS USERNAME TO THAT, I WANT TO HAVE A TALK WITH YOU.

SemiSemi: It was Tendou.

SaToRi: I’m innocent

innocence: No, I’m the most innocent here

bitchasssetter: go to fucking bed. the light from your phone is hurting my eyes, Semi.

misery: Kindaichi. Yuutarou. Go. To. Sleep.

SemiSemi: Sorry, I’ll be back in bed. I just have to finish this one thing up.

bitchasssetter: ok

Aliengay: Why is Shirabu such a sweetheart for you but such a douchebag to everyone else?

bitchasssetter: people suck 

SemiSemi: He is a douchebag to me too

bitchasssetter: :)

Aliengay: I’m actually okay with you two and Chibi-chan

Aliengay: Ushijima, Tendou, and Kageyama are a different story (:

memeking: And Iwaizumi is a different story from everyone 

memequeen: A horny and gross story

masterofnone: How was sucking his schlong? ;))

Aliengay: He headbutted me instead :(

angermom: GO TO FUCKING SLEEP GUYS

Owl: I have to agree with Iwaizumi-san.

kitten: kuroo is passed out on my bed so i have nowhere to sleep.

Owl: You should sleep next to him, Kenma-Kun.

kitten: okay

memeking: gay

memequeen: very

smolgay: luckily

masterofnone: sleep is for the weak

angermom: Shut it.

  
  


**10:03 am**

farmer: Sleep is a necessity for survival. The strongest will sleep so I believe masterofnone is incorrect.

masterofnone: Bokuto is a better ace than you.

farmer: Bokuto Koutarou is the fourth-best ace in the high school level where I rank in the top three. Please, get your facts straight before saying false statements.

smolgay: Nothing about this chat is straight

OwlFucker: Did. Konoha. Actual. Just. Say. I. Am. Better. Then. Ushiwaka???

OwlFucker: I knew you cared about me!

Owl: You probably would be better if you didn’t let the smallest things change your mood. 

OwlFucker: AgaaSheE!! You were supposed to support me :(

Aliengay: Aka-chan, what face creams or oils do you use?

OwlFucker: My cum

Owl: Bokuto-san, you are so vulgar. I don’t use anything. I only wash my face in the morning and night.

Aliengay: How are you so pretty?

Owl: Thank you. I have naturally very dry skin so drinking water has made it a lot healthier.

angermom: Trashykawa, you can’t fix what you already are. 

Aliengay: Aww, Iwa-chan loves me!

angermom: Ugly and annoying. :)

Aliengay: M E A N!

memeking: Ohhhhh get rekted, my dude!

farmer: Oikawa, you would be prettier in the Shiratorizawa volleyball jersey.

Aliengay: I hate you and I always will hate you.

farmer: I was just stating what would have helped you achieve your best potiental.

angermom: This is gold

SaToRi: Babeeeeeee, give me attention

misery: You sound exactly like Oikawa. It’s very disturbing.

angermom: Oh, don’t you go there Kunimi. Tendou is such an asshole.

SemiSemi: I have to second that statement

tangerine: I think Tendou is pretty cool! Of course his blocks are annoying but other than that he is easy to get along with!

Aliengay: Or maybe you are too easy to get along with

farmer: I have to agree with Hinata as Tendou is quite an interesting and funny person when you get to know him.

Owl: I have to disagree. Bokuto-san and Tendou-san are hellish together. At least Kuroo-san isn’t with them.

Kubroo: Wow, thank you for the compliment Akaashi.

kitten: Akaashi, you have my full consent to roast the shit out of him. he kept having arguments with Yaku again. 

Kubroo: Yaku is just a shortie. He doesn’t scare me.

**kitten added Yaku**

**Kubroo changed Yaku to shortie**

kitten: that’s your death wish. I won't attend your funeral.

shortie: Kuroo. You have however long it takes for me to get to your house to run.

Kubroo: Yaku. You will not catch me with your short legs.

misery: I want to meet Steven Irwin.

Owl: Same

kitten: same

Kubroo: Noooo

innocence: Nope. I’ll give you a million reasons not too.

OwlFucker: ^

misery: I DID NOT MEAN IT LIKE THAT FOR ONCE! He seemed like a cool guy.

misery: I still don’t mind having sex, Yuutarou. 

innocence: On my way over ;)

smolgay: ;P

masterofnone: ;))

Unironic: I haven’t slept at all since that incident. I want to cry every time I think about it and it is seared into my brain.

Littylibero: What happened?

smolgay: I accidentally sent him my nudes since him and Konoha were texting me at the same time

masterofnone: THat’s hot

Unironic: NO IT ISN'T

memeking: Ahhh you had me up all night too, my elegant Makki

memequeen: Then you sent me memes

memeking: I offer you water

Unironic: You know of that video too?!

memeking: Y ES! By far one of the best videos ever created

creampuff: Who else is confused to the second power?

bitchasssetter: Maybe that’s because you are stupid enough to actually think about what they are saying

Dog: I’m the only one who can insult him!!!

bitchasssetter: You guys are a mini Oikawa and Iwaizumi

creampuff: We don’t fuck that much

angermom: Okay, shut up. Oikawa gets horny by being alive. Seriously, I need a break.

Aliengay: I only start it and you keep it going

memequeen: I did not need to hear about my mom and dad having sex. :(

misery: This is why we stray further from God’s light every day

innocence: Your ass is my god

memeking: And I didn’t need to hear my children having sex

Unironic: I’m used to mom and dad having sex but Komi and Konoha just scar me.

Oikawajr: I think Daichi and Suga are dating

tangerine: Haha I figured that out a week ago

Aliengay: You guys are completely stupid. They’ve been official since their second year. 

shortie: heY, Kuroo. LEV is gooOD wiTh hSi reciEves

Kubroo: Give Yaku back his phone, Lev.

kitten: please. i don’t want to be near that tall fucking idiot any more than i have too.

shortie: okya, bye!

futureace: I am confused but I will start learning so I am the best ace I can be by next year! :D

OwlFucker: Hey! HEy! HEY!

Owl: Please calm down, Bokuto-san.

Littylibero: Goshiki is pure. 

Littylibero: Also, Kindaichi be a dirty boyyyy

angermom: Please never say that again

creampuff: ^

bitchasssetter:^^

SemiSemi: ^^^

Aliengay: ^^^^

misery: Ahhh I feel uncomfortable and unwanted

memequeen: Have you ever thought about sawing off your toe after stubbing it so you can take the pain away from stubbing it but then you realize it will hurt like a buttcheek on a stick if you do? Yeah, my name is Makki and my life is sorta really bleh.

memeking: I relate

farmer: I am considering getting a counselor to add to this group chat as the participants here seem to need help quite extremely.

SaToRi: They don’t need a counselor, you already bless them with your being

Aliengay: He makes me want to throw myself off the Empire State Building.

angermom: I hate saying this but I agree with Loserkawa

farmer: That isn't a healthy decision, Oikawa and Iwaizumi. You should consult someone for help.

memeking: Makki, do you see this?

memequeen: Our parents finallt agreed on something!

memeking: I love you more than I love memes.

memequeen: wow...I can’t believe you could say such a thing but same

bitchasssetter: Chill it with the gay (unless it’s Semi)

SemiSemi: That’s the sweetest thing you have ever said to me

bitchasssetter: Sleep in my room again?

SemiSemi: Of course! Why wouldn’t I? 

Unironic: It’s scary how sexual this gc is

Littylibero: Nah, bruh. It is amazing how much tea is spilled

Unironic: True

Unironic: Do you ever just want to be loved but then a second later you are like haha feeling suck and I refuse to catch feelings for a single thing?

SemiSemi: Are you alright?

smolgay: This just means he saw a hot volleyball player and he has probably caught feelings but he is trying to deny them.

Unironic: Dude, it was a hot ass character who I would mind if he would pound my ass into tomorrow. Like he be A1.

masterofnone: Saru is known for falling in love with fictional characters 

angermom: I guess we all have something

Aliengay: You have me!

angermom: I guess…

Shortie: This chat is cursed af

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oya, it's getting worse :) but that's okay


	4. I mean...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ;))

Unironic: Gays and Watari, I have an important question

creampuff: Shoot

Unironic: Wait what?

smolgay: You are hopeless

Unironic: Anyways from the asshole S H O R T person, do I always look like I’m smiling?

smolgay: I will climb you. You guys are unnecessarily tall.

smolgay: Yeah you do

Unironic: R UDE

masterofnone: You do :)

Unironic: I used to have 22 contacts but now I have 20

Owl: I feel like I am a forty-year-old mother watching over toddlers.

angermom: I feel you there

memequeen: ayeeeeee

memeking: yo, that be sounding BAD

Littylibero: dudes, stop. Mom will beat you

angermom: You can’t hide from me 

Aliengay: Watch me

angermom: You’ve tried that before, Shittykawa. Every time I find you and beat you

Unironic: methinks Oikawa is a masochist and Iwaizumi is a sadist

Owl: Saru-san, you are usually wrong

masterofnone: Ooowww sick burn

memeking: Saru is just getting abused today

smolgay: He deserves it

OwlFucker: He was stupider than I am

Kubroo: I didn’t think that was possible

OwlFucker: HEY! I’ve gotten better!!

masterofnone: He left out pot brownies and his mom shared them at his family reunion

Unironic: I FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE DUMBASS

memeking: Hahaha, this chef kiss

memequeen: WHAt the ACtuAL fuCk? You diDn’t tO helP yoU maKE THeM. 

SaToRi: That must have been interesting

creampuff: This is above my pay grade.

Kubroo: I agree with Makki! Invite all the meme people to shit like that ;(

angermom: I’m stressed out by this already

Unironic: I JUST WANTED TO TRY THEM!

kitten: how the fuck?

shortie: Same Iwaizumi

Aliengay: I can’t FucKing breAthe anYmoRE. Aliens take me away

angermom: I hope they do. I won’t have to deal with you anymore. :)

masterofnone: Saru has been at my house for the last two hours just crying

Unironic: In conclusion, I am getting disowned.

bitchasssetter: In conclusion, I don’t care.

SemiSemi: That’s rude

bitchasssetter: In conclusion, I don’t care.

SemiSemi: Fine

bitchasssetter: Thank you, Semi-san :)

futureace: Pot brownies are brownies which contain pot

bitchassetter: no, really?

memequeen: The new scientific findings are unreal

angermom: Like aliens 

Aliengay: Way to ruin my dreams, Iwa-chan!

angermom: My pleasure!

memeking: Sure is

masterofnone: I bet

memequeen: Barney is the dinosaur from our imagination

memeking: And when he’s tall

memequeen: He’s what we call our dinosaur sensation

memeking: I love you

memequeen: You love me

memeking: we are a happy family

angermom: no.

memequeen: With a great big hug ;))

memeking: And a kiss to me to you ;)))

farmer: Won’t you say you love me too?

masterofnone: DUDE

misery: This is beyond words

SaToRi: I made him watch Barney because he was a U N C U L T U R E D S W I NE.

farmer: I do not remember being a pig

smolgay: Could be a slut

Dog: Yahaba, where are you?

creampuff: I have to wait for my product to dry

Dog: Why do you even need it?

Aliengay: BECAUSE IT HELPS KEEP THE PERFECTION ON POINT!!

Dog: I didn’t ask you

angermom: Shut the fuck up, Crappykawa

Aliengay: Your insults aren’t too nice, Iwa-chan :(

Oikawajr: You should insult him more, Iwaizumi-san

angermom: I can’t. It would hurt his feelings.

Aliengay: GASP. You’re talking to the rival!

tangerine: Bokeyama! Stop looking at your phone and come practice with me!!! 

tangerine: Hey Kenma, how’s that new game?

kitten: i like it, Shoyou

creampuff: Done, Kentarou!

Dog: :)

Littylibero: Disgusting young love

creampuff: You are the one who set us up in the first place!!

Littylibero: YOU PINNED HIM AGAINST A WALL AND I COULD FEEL SEXUAL TENSION FROM THE COURT. 

creampuff: Fair point. You win this one, Watari-Kun.

Dog: Thank you, Watari...I guess.

memequeen: On a different note, my sleep paralysis demon name is Jerry. He just got a divorce and sawed off his husband's toe. Sad days.

masterofnone: Wowzers, Benny has been good. He’s only cried during my 2 am talks twice within the past two days.

OwlFucker: Benny seems like a hoot

Owl: Stop, Bokuto-san.

Unironic: MY MOM IS CaLLiNG mE

OwlFucker: Akaashi’s not calling you?

Aliengay: I am going to need popcorn for this spicy drama

angermom: Watch your mouth, Loserkawa.

masterofnone: I still can’t believe he did that

smolgay: Payback's a bitch

masterofnone: Ooo we can have sex to punish him

masterofnone: He’s reading the messages while on the phone with his mom. Currently, he is crying due to my sex comment and how he is going to ‘get a shoed shoved so far up his ass. He is a mistake child. He’ll never be able to get the shoe back or move. So he will live his days as a crippled person with a shoe in his ass. No lube either.’

memeking: That’s kinky

memequeen: You want to try this?

memeking: Oh most definitely

Unironic: This is actually terrifying. Can Akaashi or Iwaizumi actually be my mom because I don’t want to go home?

angermom: No, I don’t want you.

Owl: As your team mom, yes but I can’t save you from this, Saru-san.

Unironic: Dammit

smolgay: I hope you like being a bottom

Unironic: I am a bottom

Unironic: Y’all, I’m so fucking scared

memequeen: So that's why your username is Unironic

Unironic: I don’t need you negativity

misery: This chat is actually needing to chill

misery: Like go from 269 to 69

memeking: Makki, our children grow up so fast into the world of sex jokes and memes

memequeen: It’s so adorable

Aliengay: Hey, Kunimi is my child! You are the weird uncles.

Littylibero: I disown you as my parent. I’m a rebel.

Aliengay: That is MEAN!

Aliengay: Not as mean as Iwa-chan 

Aliengay: Or Oikawa-chan

misery: You good?

Aliengay: Perfectly okay :’)

angermom: I just told him no sex tonight since I had a shit load of homework.

Owl: That’s how it is with Bokuto-san and me sometimes

innocence: Akiraa, can you help me with math?

misery: sure

memeking: What are you doing in my room, step-bro?

memequeen: Fuck you

memeking: :))

memequeen: You suck

memeking: Yes, I do!

bitchasssetter: Semi-san, please stop Tendou from annoying me

SemiSemi: Noooo, Tendou will be stuck to me

bitchasssetter: You love me enough

SemiSemi: Only because I love you

smolgay: I don’t think anyone besides Ushiwaka and Hinata willingly puts up with Tendou

SemiSemi: I’ve grown used to it so without him, everything seems out of place

SaToRI: That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever told me

bitchasssetter: Did your mom drop you on your head?

SaToRi: Bold of you to assume I wasn’t brought by aliens

Aliengay: Aliens wouldn’t bring something like you :)

bitchasssetter: I have to agree with Oikawa

farmer: Satori, do you want to hang out? I have finished this week’s Shonen Jump. Ads included.

SaToRi: Sure, ‘Toshi!

tangerine: Wow, we sure move through subjects fast! 

Oikawajr: Or maybe you are slow

tangerine: But I’m fast

smolgay: Love birds, am I right?

tangerine: Yeah, he is pretty cool even when he was like ‘ I can do everything by myself’

Oikawajr: Tch, dumbass

memeking: They are dorks.

memequeen: It really be like that.

misery: Nah, it’s just love changes people

Oikawajr: I never seen you smile at anyone beside Kindaichi until that one match

misery: Okay, that is because everyone is stupid as hell at Aoba Johsai. It’s amazing.

misery: Oikawa is usually getting beaten by Iwaizumi. Mattsu and Makki are making out or reciting memes. Yahaba and Kentarou are arguing. Kindaichi is trying to calm everyone down. Watari is usually in the corner watching everyone for ‘ship material’. The coaches are done with life. I question my existence. 

masterofnone: That seems like fun! Bokuto is breaking down under the water table. Akaashi is trying to calm him down. Saru, Komi, and I are joking around. The coach, managers, and the rest of the team have just given up.

bitchasssetter: Semi-san is usually brooding about how he isn’t in the starting line up. Tendou is Tendou. Ushijima is Ushijima. The rest are more-less normal.

SemiSemi: You are such an asshole. You are lucky I tolerate your sassy ass.

bitchasssetter: You know you like my sassy ass.

SemiSemi: Maybe I do. Maybe I don’t.

angermom: I don’t beat Shittykawa without reason. 

angermom: Like his beautiful face. :)

Aliengay: Aw! Iwa-chan loves me!

angermom: Now, everyone go to bed. This is an order.

smolgay: Yessir 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	5. But truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I mean...it's gay. Very gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I'm back babies! Sorry for the break tho.

**7:50pm**

Littylibero: Imagine being cool 

Kubroo: I don’t fucking have to imagine, newbie

Littylibero: Do you hear that? That’s me telling Yaku about what you did.

Kubroo: You wouldn’t.

OwlFucker: HooOt

Littylibero: Kenma, I’m so sorry but I had too.

kitten: it’s fine...i guess

shortie: Kenma, you’re perfectly okay! But why him?

**kitten added Lev**

kitten: why him?

tangerine: HI LEV!!!

Lev: Hinata!! Did you grow any taller?

tangerine: I grew .2 cm so HA!

Lev: Wow, soon you’re going to be taller than Yaku

Owl:...

OwlFucker: Wait. wHat?

shortie: I will personally beat you so badly Lev. Like if you want to have children, say goodbye to that idea.

Lev: But then our child would have the short gene

Kubroo: Dumbass, run as fast as you can

Lev: Why?

shortie: You hear that knocking on your door? You answer it. I will pick the lock. There is no safe spaces with me around.

smolgay: Vicous 

masterofnone: Indeed, very much so.

**smolgay changed Lev to dead**

kitten: he isn’t wrong

dead: Save me!!!!!!!!!

memequeen: nah

memeking: I’m not feeling it

Aliengay: I can’t wait to go to your funeral

Unironic: I will tell everyone how close we are

tangerine: Sorry Lev, I’m in Miyagi I couldn’t make it!

futureace: I wish I could help but I need to stalk Ushijima tonight

farmer: Please rest instead of stalking me tonight as we have a practice match tomorrow.

SaToRi: Welp, my boyfriend is the most oblivious person alive

SaToRi: He literally didn’t realize we were dating until a couple of weeks after the game

memequeen: Get relationship-zoned

SaToRi: Seriously, we fucked and was like ‘you are a great friend’ after I indirectly asked him out and he said yes.

Aliengay: I am about to PisS my pants

SaToRi: EVen for me, it’s traumatizing

SemiSemi: I didn’t realize that was possible

angermom: ^

Unironic: So, you want to know what person was even more terrified than when his best friends are fucking in the house next to him?

memeking: oh damn, yes I do

memequeen: same daddi

Unironic: I’m suing you guys for ruining my innocent mind

masterofnone: That was gone a while ago

Unironic: No thanks to you. So they were hanging out at my house like normal then I go to make hot chocolate for us. I came back to them giving each other handjobs so I dropped hot chocolate which Hell doesn’t even compete with, on my foot. They didn’t even apologize, the only laughed and kicked me. :(

memequeen: FRuck yes. I wish I lived closer.

smolgay: Only the closest best friends kicked their friends after they witnessed them getting a handjob and dropped hot chocolate on their foot

misery: That sounds nice

innocence: A K I R A, please don’t pour hot chocolate on me, it would hurt :((

misery: I wasn’t planning on it but it does sound fun

angermom: Aoba Johsai is a bit off their rockers

Aliengay: That’s not nice, Iwa-chan

angermom: This is a prime example

creampuff: Also look at Kyoutani

dog: Do you want to go, Shigeru?

creampuff: I would love to go out with you, for some reason

dog: Wait what are you talking about?

creampuff: You are a dense asshole, but we are going on a date in 30 minutes :))

memeking: Now, that is relationship-zoned at its true beauty

memequeen: Let’s tell the story of how we got together

memeking: [ https://youtu.be/_fjEViOF4JE ](https://youtu.be/_fjEViOF4JE)

memequeen: Babe <3

memeking: Babe <3

Littylibero: You guys need meme intervention or some sort of counseling

memeking: I’m not feeling it

memequeen: I need thicc dicc

memequeen: So. One. Day. I. Showed. Mattsu. A. Meme. And. He. Said. Cool. Then. We. Made. Out. On. Accident. We. Became. (Tomorrow. Is. Our. Last. Day.) Fuck. Buddies. At. The. Beginning. Of. Our. Third. Year. Than. A. Couple. Months. Ago. He. Told. Me. He. Almost. Liked. Me. More. Than. Memes. :))

OwlFucker: DON’T YOU FUCK DARE REMIND ME. I AM LEAVING AGASSHHeeE. I’m going to miss his sets.

Kubroo: I’m gonna miss you, Kitten

shortie: YES!! I don’t have to deal with Lev anymore!!!

Dead: You’re gonna miss me calling you short

shortie: I know you are going to call me every day to call me short now

kitten: kuroo, you are a commuter

Owl: Wow, Bokuto-san is going to be gone. I will miss you but I’m always willing to set for you.

memequeen: This is too sad

memeking: Alexa

masterofnone: Play

Unironic: hey macerana

smolgay: You had one job, Saru.

Unironic: I won’t come to school tomorrow :p

memequeen: Ya know, the five of us are going to the same uni

Unironic: There’s a quite appetizing bridge near my house

masterofnone: You won’t make it. I am climbing into your house currently

Unironic: I will relish the sweet relief of death

misery: ^

creampuff: ^^

Owl: ^^^

Aliengay: ^^^^

angermom: ^^^^^

SemiSemi: ^^^^^^

Oikawajr: ^^^^^^^

bitchasssetter: ^^^^^^^^

smolgay: Who doesn’t want to die in this gc?

masterofnone: There will be torture. 

Unironic: Cool and kinky, will I die though?

masterofnone: Nah, dun wanna have you actually happy

farmer: I do not wish death upon myself

farmer: Besides one time during a game and I realized Oikawa will never come to Shiratorizawa. I will still never understand his worthless pride.

Aliengay: Tbh, it was Iwa-chan’s arms and dick

farmer: I suppose it is too late now anyway.

angermom: You should have went to Shiratoriawa (:

Aliengay: Wow, r00d. Disrespectful, Iwa-chan. I spend years of my life worshipping your arms and this is the thanks I get? 

angermom: Don’t eat the cookie dough before we even fucking bake it next time (:

SaToRi: So SemiSemi, how you going to do without the salty boy?

SemiSemi: I will be relieved for the most part

bitchasssetter: Good, I forgot you are a third year. I won’t have any competition for being a setter. Though you weren’t much competition, Semi-san.

SemiSemi: This is the reason I’m happy to be going but I’ll be back once and a while to annoy you 

bitchasssetter: I guess it can’t be helped. I am, for some reason, in a relationship with you.

SemiSemi: You’re a brat

farmer: Shirabu-kun, I have great expectations for you as a setter.

memeking: Guys, this is getting too sappy. Go suck dick.

memequeen: I’m heading over

Owl: You guys are truly horny idiots but it isn’t a bad thing.

OwlFucker: Akaashi, please spend the night with me

Owl: I was planning on getting some chores done with tonight and spending the night tomorrow but I could most likely spend both nights.

OwlFucker: I’m so FRucking ExciTed

Oikawajr: I want to wish the best to all the third years (besides Oikawa).

memequeen: Tragic.

Aliengay: MAKKI, it’s not funny :(

angermom: Remember when Shittykawa was talking to Kunimi and Makki shanked a receive and hit him in the head

creampuff: That was one of the best things!

memequeen: I remember when the stairs were covered in ice and he went S L I D I N G. He begged Iwaizumi to bring him home

memeking: Then Oikawa, when Yahaba beat Iwaizumi in an arm wrestling contest

angermom: Don’t remind me of that, he would stop asking himself how or when

creampuff: I remember getting an actually shit ton of money since you guys placed bets

dog: I am still confused about how you won

Littylibero: That’s my hoe

creampuff: I’ll always be YOUR hoe. 

dog: I am confused

creampuff: I’ll be your slut

memequeen: Omfg this is gold

memeking: Our kids grow up so fast

Aliengay: I TOLD YOU GUYS BEFORE, YOU ARE THE WEIRD UNCLE

memequeen: Nah, you’re trying to brainwash our kids

smolgay: Ooo I hope they dorm at least Konoha, Saru, and me in the same room. 

Unironic: NO. I will cry.

dead: Just put earbuds in

Unironic: They are much, MUCH louder than anything that can be muffled

angermom: That is disturbing

misery: I am inclined to agree

innocence: Same here

innocence: Please go to bed, Akira. I don't want you to sleep in for the last day of our first year!!

misery: dammit, fine

memequeen: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

memeking: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

angermom: Takahiro Hanamaki, go fuck yourself

angermom: Issei Matsukawa, go fuck yourself

angermom: Tooru Oikawa, fuck you

Aliengay: Hopefully you do <3 ;)

angermom: Shut the fuck up


	6. You know that feeling when you have peanut butter on your hands and can't touch anything? that's a constant mood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeahhhhhh, pro procrastinator who just binged watched 5 different animes haha help

**8:09 pm**

memequeen: So, do not trust liberos.

Littylibero: I don’t trust you either

smolgay: I’m poisoning your food

shortie: Well, piss off.

memequeen: You guys are extremely terrifying.

memequeen: Too much attitude in your small bodies

memeking: Babe, run

smolgay: You know all five of us share an apartment, right??

Owl: Do I want to guess where Sarukui-san sleeps?

Unironic: I. Sleep. On. The. Goddamn. Couch. Or. Floor.

masterofnone: Apartments are expensive

memeking: Plus you are an absolute dumb fuck

Owl: I am sorry, Sarukui-san but I can’t disagree there.

Unironic: THE ONE PERSON I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST

Kubroo: GET THE CAMERA, REBECCA

Aliengay: On it!!

OwlFucker: GET THE FUCK OFF OF IT

**Kubroo added Daichi**

**Kubroo changed Daichi to DeadDad**

DeadDad: I regret going to the same university as you five

DeadDad: Do Not By All Mean Add Terushima

farmer: I was not planning on it

angermom: I can’t complain with my roommates especially since I have a break from ‘do-you-ever-just-want-to-get-abducted-by-aliens-Iwa-chan’ Tooru

Aliengay: I never expected to be hurt like tis from my childhood friend and boyfriend

angermom: I never expected to actually get through, how many years of your bitching?

Aliengay: Imma go tell Moniwa-chan and Mr. Refreshing what you are saying :(

angermom: Not Moniwa right now, Futachi is over and they are going out in a few minutes

angermom: I bet Suga would agree with me 

**angermom added Suga**

**Aliengay changed Suga to Sugamomma**

Aliengay: everyone at your university is such a mom

DeadDad: Suga, run as fast as you can from this group chat

Sugamomma: I like it here so sorry, Daddy

smolgay: What are you apologizing to Konoha for?

memequeen: Shrek, this needs to be published

memeking: Lord Farquaad, I have to agree

masterofnone: They are watching Shrek for this 5th time this weekend

memequeen: Shut up, Donkey

Unironic: I am probably Fiona

memeking: That is incorrect, Gingerbread Man.

Kubroo: OH FUCK FUCKKKKK   
  


SaToRi: OOF

angermom: I am glad I don’t go to the same university as them

smolgay: He is on the veRge Of TEArs

masterofnone: Omfg, Makki and Mattsun, I didn’t realize how truly great renting an apartment with you guys would be

memequeen: Samee and scarring Saru is just chef kiss

smolgay: I know!! Purposely moaning until he is sobbing on the ground he sleeps on is the best

Owl: Wow, abusing Sarukui-san seems to be something everyone agrees with

memeking: He is such an idiot but like an idiot which you just feel the need to torture

Unironic: I feel loved

Unironic: Not saying I was stalking anyone, but Washio mmm^2 right now

OwlFucker: Dude, that is creepy

DeadDad: I am inclined to agree

Unironic: nvm I am gonna go cry

misery: Mood

misery: Kyoutani can suck my ass

memequeen: CHILD   
  


memequeen: he has A boyfiend

misery: FUCK YOU NOT LIKE THAT BUT HE IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE I NEVER WANT TO SEE HIS FACE ANYWHERE AROUND ME HE CALLED ME LAZY AND TOLD ME I NEEDED TO WORK HARDER I AM A PETTY LAZY ASSHOLE AND WILL NOT DO WHAT HE SAYS 

misery: YAHABA EVEN KNOWS I AM LAZY AND ACCEPTS IT

innocence: Akira. Calm down, pleaseeee!

Dog: I fucking hate you too

creampuff: Kyoutani.

Dog: Fine. I will only tolerate you during volleyball.

misery: I don’t give a flying shit about you

innocence: Come on, Akira. I am heading over.

Aliengay: Well, that was some spicy drama there.

memequeen: Nvm them, can we talk about how this apartment meme goals?

smolgay: Interior designer, who?

memeking: Never heard or needed her

masterofnone: We have memes instead

Unironic: ;))

memequeen: Shut it, whore

Unironic: I know you guys love me so ha

masterofnone: In your dreams

Unironic: Uncalled for abuse

memeking: Don’t say your middle name

Unironic: I hate you guys

smolgay: You love us but it’s unrequited

Unironic: Why would I want your love?

Deadchi: Iwaizumi, what do I do if Oikawa is passive-aggressively washing the dish since he threw a tantrum about not watching Ancient Aliens?

angermom: There is nothing that can be done about his tantrums but bring him milk bread. Whenever Shittykawa is in a bad mood, milk bread always helps.

OwlFucker: BRO BRO BRO BRO YOU THINKING WHAT I AM THINKING

Kubroo: OF FUCKING COURSE

kitten: what the fuck is wrong with you two?

Owl: You don’t want to know

Owl: They lead to teenage drinking

kitten: i have to agree

Kubroo: You don’t have to out me like that

OwlFucker: Agaashi

innocence: Sorry Kunimi was acting like that, I sorta kept him up all night

memequeen: Ah Kindaichi had an ass appointment

memeking: Lucky

memequeen: I want a dick appointment, you willing?

memeking: Hell yeah babe

Unironic: I am emotionally numb (besides for Washio, he can happily fuck my life up)

smolgay: They be really going at it ;))

masterofnone: Ayeeeeee

  
  



	7. Hotel? Trivago.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disappointed but not surprised. This is a bruh moment. Don't mind the change in my writing style, please! I am slowly watching Banana Fish and pain changes people *insert traumatic memories* 
> 
> Also, I am living for these comments! Y'all keep my humor up when I want to sleep for the rest of the year

**3:39 pm**

SemiSemi: I’d like to see my boyfriend but NO. Tendou forced me to go hang out at the captain uni. 

SaToRi: You love me

farmer: I will have to have a talk with Semi if he is in love with you.

SaToRi: He is 

SemiSemi: I hate you, Tendou

memequeen: no cap

memeking: only faxxs

masterofnone: Hey Semen!

masterofnone: Autocorrect sucks

SemiSemi: Oh shit

bitchasssetter: Today is National Bully The Fuck Out Of Semi Eita Day!

smolgay: NO WAY TODAY IS BULLY SARU EVEN MORE THAN USUAL DAY!

Owl: Fukurodani alumni, remember the time Sarukui-san almost bite off his finger before a game and everyone was freaking out?

Unironic: THAT’S UNFAIR, I WAS EATING A CARROT AND WANTED TO SEE IF IT ACTUALLY TOOK THE SAME FORCE TO BITE THROUGH A FINGER AS IT DID A CARROT.

masterofnone: YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT

Unironic: Wow, the people I trusted the most, hurt me the most

memequeen: Get up bitch, you’re fine

Unironic: Bold of you to assume I am

memeking: well you are sitting on the couch and don’t seem to be crying

Unironic: Crying is for the weak

smolgay: You’re always crying for a weEk tho

OwlFucker: GET REKT BRO

Owl: Bokuto-san, please never say that again.

OwlFucker: YOU LOVE ME AKASHI

Owl: This is why teenage drinking exists...

angermom: Moscato is the best for dealing with people.

Aliengay: Do you miss me yet, Iwa-chan~?

angermom: Shut your mouth, Loserkawa

Aliengay: I feel attacked

memeking: Go sicko mode on him

memequeen: YELL HEAH!! 

angermom: Makki.

memequeen: You don’t scare me, bitch

memeking: rip my brofriend 1995-2020

smolgay: It’s best that he is dead

misery: He is goals

kitten: ^

innocence: Akirraaaaaaaa, but you have me?

misery: Actually, life is worth living

Kubroo: Kenma, you have my sexy ass

kitten: hm, death sounds nicer

Kubroo: KENmA

**Aliengay changed creampuff to sadyeehaw**

sadyeehaw: I mean he isn’t wrong

Dog: …

Dog: You forgot your socks in my house

memequeen: HE KISSED HIS HOMIE WITHOUT SOCKS

memekings: THAT’S HOME OF SEXUALS

sadyeehaw: I AM GAY

Dog: We are gay.

memequeen: Kids grow up so fast with their wine aunt and his significant other

angermom: You guys gave me anxiety

Owl: I can relate there, Iwaizumi-san.

innocence: Oikawa dressed me up as a horse and told me to let him ride me

masterofnone: Pfffft

smolgay: OMFG THIS IS ACTUALLY HILARIOUS

Unironic: OIKAWA BE A BIGGER IDIOT THAN I AM IF POSSIBle

masterofnone: That’s impossible

misery: Yuutarou. Rephrase please!

memequeen: OH SHIT I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE THAT

innocence: But that’s what he said

memeking: brb I am going to suffocate and it’s Kindaichi’s fault

innocence: Don’t suffocate, please! Relax your throat and lungs!

Aliengay: NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NOOOO. I DIDN’T SAY IT OR MEAN IT LIKE THAT.

Kubroo: I am dead

OwlFucker: THIS IS WHAT I CALL A GOOD TIME

Owl: Bokuto-san, please calm down.

OwlFucker: okay, agsashodk

Owl: That- you know what? Good job.

SemiSemi: You’re pain is understandable 

bitchasssetter: Your*

SemiSemi: The block button is looking real tempting

bitchasssetter: So wasn’t the starting setter position but you never got it.

SemiSemi: Goshiki, get a new setter, this one is about to die.

Aliengay: I love how domestic you two are! <3

futureace: But he’s a good setter but I think he would be replaceable! Why is he dying?

SemiSemi: You hear that?

bitchasssetter: Jackass

SemiSemi: Salty bitch

deadchi: This group chat concerns me

farmer: I have to agree. I am seeking help and counseling for all of you.

Sugamomma: Moniwa should have gone to our university 

Sugamomma: It would have been fun and we could have mom vibed together

memequeen: Top 10 saddest anime betrayals 

**Kubroo added Moniwa**

**Kubroo changed Moniwa to tinysetter**

tinysetter: Kuroo, what is the meaning of this?

Kubroo: Kuroo out!

tinysetter: He sucks

shortie: We would have had the full crew of moms

Sugamomma: M O M S Q U A D

shortie: A Y E

memequeen: I can imagine them just drinking wine and gossiping

shortie: I will beat you if there’s a camera in the apartment

SemiSemi: How did you know?

tinysetter: It’s probably better that I’m here, Daichi needs a break sometimes

dead: I miss Yaku

shortie: Don’t worry! Next time I see you, you are getting a kick in the face 

dead: If your legs can reach

Unironic: I want to go to the M O M S Q U A D   
  


SemiSemi: We don’t accept lame people

bitchasssetter: Besides Semi

SemiSemi: You’re lucky I love you, you small salty human.

bitchasssetter: Yeah, right.

Dog: All setters are salty

memeking: Facts.

smolgay: You should see Akaashi whenever a group of girls talks to Bokuto

masterofnone: I have never seen Akaashi so petty as then

Unironic: That one time was horrible

smolgay: He was like I’m going to leave the jacket and Bokuto turned around all sad

Unironic: That game was horrible

OwlFucker: That was in our second year before me and him got together, right?

masterofnone: That spelling was better than normal, A for effort!

Owl: I am being called out. I don’t know how to feel.

SemiSemi: Shirabitch and I both know we are salty

bitchasssetter: I hate your presence 

SemiSemi: Love you too, honey!

memequeen: I talk for everyone when saying Oikawa is hella salty, petty, and just an all-around hoe.

tinysetter: We’re all sluts too. 

memeking: I didn’t say it

kitten: they aren’t wrong tho

memequeen: Ayyeyeeee

misery: I wish I could delete my existence 

innocence: I do too

Littylibero: Today marks a special day

sadyeehaw: The

Dog: First

Littylibero: TIme

sadyeehaw: Kindaichi

Dog: Yahaba, do I have to do this?

sadyeehaw: You’ve ruined it already, nope. MY BEST FRIEND AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE BY OURSELVES.

Aliengay: FOr THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER…

memequeen: KINDAICHI DIDN’T CUTE KUNIMI OUT OF HIS DEATH COMMENTS

angermom: Shittykawa. I swear to Godzilla, if you start singing that stupid song on our FaceTimes, I will slap that song out of your memory

memequeen: He actually means bang

memeking: Really hard and long, the noice way

memequeen: Torture Saru?

Unironic: I am going to intervene here and say no torturing Saru is permitted today

smolgay: But today is Bully Saru More Than Usual Day

masterofnone: this is gonna be epic.

masterofnone: F in the chat for Saru

SemiSemi: F

angermom: F

deadchi: F   
  


misery: F

innocence: F

Sugamomma: F

bitchasssetter: F...ig

dead: F

shortie: F

smolgay: F

memequeen: F

Oikawajr: F

farmer: F 

SaToRi: F

memeking: F

tinysetter: F

tangerine: wait what?

futureace: I am confused

memequeen: @memeking look at these idiots. Uncultured in the best of life. 

memeking: Haha, how are they high schoolers?

Sugamomma: No converting them, yet. They are now only in their second year so please wait three quarters of a year.

memeking: yet?

memequeen: yet.

  
  



End file.
